If there's one thing I can tell you I know for sure about life, it's that it will never be explained beyond acknowledgment of the fact that it is impossible to fully explain.
This however, is my frivolous, ultimately futile and now even contradictory attempt at explaining my own meaningless existence.
also, i like green, in case you didn't notice.
Since I started this, I've developed a few recurring "series" of posts. here they are:
"The dullness of my existence" - a series of brief, one liners describing my life.
"The hate song" - series of pet peeves, as they occur to me
"the meaning of life" - anytime I have an opinion about something remotely important, I tag them as this.
Take the hurt and the pain, I don’t need it
I want to live, I want to be the change,
We can all be kings and queens.
Great song, great album, just fucking great
Sometimes I’m baffled by technicalities.
One slight difference - but inadvertently so - having profound implications (again without sound foundation for said difference) on any circumstance or scenario whatsoever is senseless sometimes.
I’ll give you an example.
Right now I’m reading Marvel’s 2012 spectacle of the Avengers vs. X-Men (sidebar, if you’re a comic fan in any respect you’d be nuts to be missing out on this). Jason Mewes once talked about cross-sections of comic universes, in which (it may or may not have been - I’m paraphrasing - but the characters in this scenario are hardly the point) Aquaman and Black Widow were involved, at which point Kevin Smith interjects and asserts the looming fact that they exist in separate - though both equally fictional - comic universes of DC and Marvel (is it necessary to say ‘sidebar’ in an interjectual parenthetical phrasing, or is the ‘sidebar’ axiomatically implied?).
I’m losing you, I can feel it.
There’s a point here, I promise (I find myself saying that far too often for comfort). First of all, does the universe of origin really have a significant role to play in a discourse founded in fiction? None of this is true, so what harm is there in bending ‘un’reality? Keeping that in mind (and getting back to my former reference of AvX —seriously, it’s awesome, go read it), I should be able to assert the point that Quicksilver could just as easily be fighting the Flash to make it a better fight in AvX.
The most important part of all of this is that in the midst of all this senseless banter (with myself, I might add) we are missing out on the big picture of a supremely badass war between two mighty forces, while getting tied up with what I assert are essentially no more than semantics, when you reach down to the bare bones of the fact.
I find myself relating more and more to Kevin Smith films as I watch more and more of them.
I haven’t had inspiration to write any of my little journals in a long time.
I still don’t, to be honest.
I started writing these because it used to feel like my head was exploding because I was thinking so much. Getting some of it out of my system felt productive.
It wasn’t.
But now I can’t even write one of these if I tried (this journal notwithstanding); the only logical inference (assuming these to be exercises of catharsis) being that I have, for all intents and purposes, stopped thinking. Now, that’s not to say my brain has stopped working. I can still wash myself and whip up a crazy good imaginary pie. But I just don’t think anymore. Not like I used to, anyhow.
I wonder if I should be at all concerned about that. Maybe I need to start staring at paintings. That helps some people, doesn’t it?
Woe, Is Me - Our Numbers
Reblogged from fuckyeahreactions
I request the highest of fives.
Only in moments of utmost legendariness.
Every once in a while, an inspiring line from a movie or song comes to mind that bears with it the urge to share it via the social network. I surrender to these urges in the hopes that they might someday appear to someone who at that particular moment in time really needs those words, and that I may, without immediate cause or concern, cause significant change in their lives, leaving me as the sole driving factor in such change.
I have to this point however, been unsuccessful.
It then occurs to me that I’m not really in the position in a relationship with anyone at which they’re distant enough that they reach my comment arbitrarily, (as opposed to subscription to the comings and goings of the ever uninteresting Kevin Cootauco) yet close enough that they could acknowledge my contribution (however small) to their lives.
So really, I could be changing lives daily, and I wouldn’t even know it.
The more likely explanation being however that I’ve been wasting time and intellect, pondering the unrealistic possibilities and potential of a blog, and twitter feed that most probably go unnoticed.
Oh well.
I’m designating a part of these entries to something useful.
there’s a lot of incredible new music on the way from such incredible artists, including some that’s out already, and summer 2011 is looking very promising. from many artists, some in very interesting situations, it’s a good time for music. artists like city and colour, who just released his third album “Little Hell,” the feature of this entry, Paramore, whose album is also upcoming, after the loss of the co-founding Farro brothers, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, with the new addition of the young Josh Klinghoffer, replacing sporadic guitar genius John Frusciante, and so many more, it’s unbelievable. really. So let’s get into it, my first album of summer 2011,
City and Colour - Little Hell
So, I just got this album.. like, today. I’ve been really excited about it, an all time favourite musician of mine, Dallas (like the city) Green (like the colour, get it?) native to St Catherine’s, this album was everything an album needs to be as a follow up to any successful record. Progressive, ambitious, and quite adventurous, because let’s face it, there’s no such memorable musician that releases the same album twice
With the kind of music Dallas has a tendency to write, there’s always the possibility of his music from crossing the folk barrier into country-type territory, but the raw melodic movements of his vocals always add the finishing touch that’s so signature to a City and Colour album. We kind of get that in the opening track. I’ll be honest, I was a little worried at first. It does have the mellow beat and reverberations of a slow country song, but there is more to it than that. I ended up really enjoying the depth and utilization of that great low end we’ve heard from Dallas.
There were times on the record where that slight country influence comes through, but doesn’t dominate. I mean, you can hear that upbeat strum that has the country-pop sound that kind of reminded me of a pre-2010 Barenaked Ladies song (in a track like “Natural Disaster,” for example). It’s actually kind of a refreshing change,
Probably some of the high points of the album were times when the music was the furthest from the previous two records, when we get to see the adventurous musician in Dallas Green. He goes for the indie sound, with that bluesy rock influence, and infuses a bit of soul with his vocal melodies. Songs like Fragile Bird, Weightless, and the ending track Hope For Now. Kind of reminded me of a Black Keys, or a John Frusciante song, from an album like “Inside of Emptiness” especially the fade out guitar solo that closes out the album. I also found it interesting that Dallas opened the album with an acapella phrase, then closed out with an instrumental. Musician’s message, or incidental, you tell me.
Dallas really shows a great adventurous side to himself as a musician. One of the most interesting songs was the “Grand Optimist” playing a slow, folksy sounding guitar progression, then writing a blues vocal melody for it. It ended up being one of the most interesting blends I’ve ever heard. Definitely pay attention to that one when you get to it.
Verdict: Overall, great follow up album, a refreshing change up, I admire the ambition - there was a clear vision to this record, and it’s prominent, and it was achieved. Great example of a growing musician. Well executed guitar riffs, good use of the country-blues delay effects to enhance the sound. Overall: 8/10
I don’t exactly know what it is, but for some reason I can never thoroughly feel like I’m using time properly. I can use it efficiently, I’m pretty good at that. I can waste time, by doing nothing, and not feel guilty. I relax. I can get work done, I can accomplish a lot, or I can accomplish absolutely nothing, but somehow I never feel like I’m using it properly. And I think that’s the ultimate waste of time.
at this point, it’s a bit difficult to preface any of these little entries of mine with something that appears to be building up to something much better. an example of such a pre-statement would be something like “you are all about to bear witness to the invention of something that will last as long as I do” in other words, my original intended opening for this post.
but since most of these are typed up on impulse, sitting in my room, usually with a leg up on my desk chair, with a beverage, sitting in a tshirt and sweatpants with a hockey game playing behind me (Roloson, Boston is rocking you right now, 10 bucks says you’re ejected before the end of this game). in this case, it’s a Boston game (I list the winning team’s name, for no particular reason at all), pajama pants because my sweats are lost forever (come back to me soon) and a bottle of water (my apologies to any fellow environmentalists, I am terribly ashamed). I did get a new desk chair.
it occurs to me that this entry had a purpose, and has now gone two paragraphs, several digressions, and more than a few double takes at the TV set without addressing that topic at all. that’s interesting. I guess I’ll save it for next time. be well, my friends
I think ive finally decided on one, solidified truth that is beyond contestation about happiness - it’s impossible to pursue.
a dog can chase its tail. no, not irrelevant, don’t go anywhere. a dog can chase its tail, and as long as its tail remains in sight, as it idiotically spins and nauseates itself, one thing never changes - it’s still chasing its tail. will the tail ever be reached? possibly, given a very determined, flexible, and soon-to-be-disappointed-because-it’s-just-a-tail dog (granted its intelligence permits). confused? let’s cycle back.
a person can never really know how to be happy because it’s impossible to know what will make you happy. “i’ll be happy if I become famous, because everyone will know my name.”
there’s a huge, yet somehow fine line between happiness, and satisfaction. Satisfaction can be reached, very superficially. I can be satisfied simply by setting a goal, then reaching it. I pulled off a sock under my desk today and it’s been bugging me a heck of a lot. reach down, sock gone, satisfaction = reached.
the point is, satisfaction can be filled. happiness can’t be measured. a happy person is always satisfied. a satisfied person is never happy. satisfaction can be guaranteed (what up?!) but happiness isn’t. fulfilling a goal satisfies you, but happiness is the ultimate goal.
you can’t force happiness, or find it, it finds you. sometimes the one thing you’re convinced will make you happy doesn’t, then it depresses you. and all the while, the one thing that could make you happy has been close by, but you were too busy chasing your tail to notice it was there (absolutely, lame.)
point is, you can’t chase a tail you don’t even have, and if even though you might think something will make you happy, if it can be pursued, it won’t make you happy. because happiness cannot be pursued.
I feel like that requires explanation. but then id have to begin questioning what this entire burst of words was all about.
Happiness by the Kilowatt - Alexisonfire
So this is continuous happiness. You know, I always imagined it something more. With the right drapes, the right shades, the right frames, this could really work.
What a great day to spend indoors.
Wake, wake up.
In a hail of sparks, And a tangle of wires, everything went wrong.
So where has all the day gone? And why are my lungs aching when I breathe? Is there something wrong with the heat? Why am I so cold? My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak. And this is not what I hoped for.
Wake, wake up.
Was this what we hoped for? Was this?
This is one of the most profoundly meaningful things I’ve ever experienced. I could sit here and tell you about what it means, or you could go listen to it for yourself. I can think of so many people who need to hear this message.
If you ever saw Fight Club, you’re familiar with the idea.
So, as of the moment i started writing this, there are officially 12 hours and 20 minutes until my last lecture of freshman year.
here’s what I learned:
the horror stories you hear of university? it’s not that bad.
16 is a brutal age.
laptops are beautiful
bald people like to make fun of themselves
stressing about the 9th grade is absolutely ridiculous
3 words: Blue Heron Clan (or tribe, that was never actually cleared up)
The York frosh week system is the most logical. Seriously, ask a freshman from another school how many frosh friends they still have.
your first day on the York campus is absolute mental fuckery
coffee, everywhere.
Love before lust.
I’m not as weird as I thought I was. in fact i may even be downright normal
high school was terrible.
travel mugs are necessary
A really good TV show can ruin you
Dexter Morgan.
Musical talent is not a personal selling point
never pass up an opportunity to get to know people you’ll be around for a while.
Thursday precedes Friday, which is followed by Saturday, and Sunday ensues… afterward
Snooki is a public figure, and people such as Rebecca Black make money for making music. in my opinion, the world is already over
Canada is unbelievable. yet most Canadians have never seen it. Go do it sometime.
Life is really good right now.
The best part about freshman year is the amazing people I’ve met. Which is actually the last thing I expected. I love them all.
you’re not reading this, are you?
